I'm Just Alive
Asked to write a reflection about my life, I can only say 'I'm alive!'
You may listen to this being read by the author, if you like ….
I’m Just Alive
I'm alive. I'm just alive. That's all.
Israel's been bombed, etc. --
I shouldn't have to recount it.
I haven't slept for the last five nights.
For the past week and a half,
I've spent most of my time day and night
reading, watching, and listening to
things about Israel.
I can't really do anything else --
but on Tuesday, I went out for a few hours
and that was amazing!
I went to an art supply store,
and thought about making art supplies.
I used to make paint.
I have a great book about how to make things like that --
now, if only I could find it!
A few months ago, I got this very strong desire to go to Eilat (where I've never been! That is a travesty for an Israeli!) and make black falafel and black hummus --
meaning, from black chickpeas (I don't know how
the actual falafel and hummus would look .... )
and, of course, feed people!
Now, if I were there, I could be feeding people fleeing
(Should I use that word, though?), having fled from
the areas near Gaza (I don't know why it's called that!
In Hebrew, it's just 'Aza.) and I wish I were there,
doing that -- theoretically, I mean!
I can't deal with people that much, necessarily --
or perhaps that's what I think
and I think that because
I'm hardly ever around them now,
don't have the chance to be,
so I say this whether or not it's true!
I don't believe in dichotomies such as introversion/ extroversion,
but somehow everyone else seems to -- why?!
They say I'm introverted.
One woman called me an extroverted introvert,
and I liked that ....
**
Ashira Malka
3:49 P.M. EDT, 19th October, 2023
Rock-it-ville, Merry-land, U.S. Ey! Okay! :-
This photo was taken to show the pain I felt in my face for days — the muscles all so overused, so tired from feeling so sad for so long without break ….